I recently read in Reclaiming Relationship in a Technological World by Andy Crouch that during your birth and death you want to be around and connect with people you know in trust. During your birth this is your mother and you are looking for her care, and eye contact. During your final moments, if you’re lucky, you want to be surrounded by people, make eye contact and having your final moments with them.

I keep finding this pattern in the real world whenever I walk into a new area, such as a store. If there is someone waiting at the checkout and they notice me pass by quite often they’ll look at me and look for my gaze. Possibly a bit obvious for people who make eye contact often but this has been a new experience for me. I always felt like I had a mission and it had required me to ignore everyone around me to get to the underwear aisle, or wherever.

I’ve now started acknowledging everyone I pass if they’re also willing. But this requires me to have enough focus to give them attention. Previously I’d use the time I spent walking through the parking lot, or to the aisle I was going to, I’d be in my phone responding to notifications or browsing. Once I started being intentional about my focus during this transitional time it had a weird effect where I actually slowed down my walk and paid attention to a lot more things oftentimes to my benefit.

I try to wave at everyone I see while driving or biking at low speeds, and always yield way to walkers. I want to receive a wave back, sometimes I do, sometimes I don’t and that’s fine.