Commonly we think of joy coming from big moments: graduations, promotions, weddings, vacations. We are conditioned to believe that happiness requires grand gestures or significant achievements. We save our happiness for the weekend, for after we get the promotion, for when we finally move into that bigger house. We’ve created “joy checkpoints”, designated moments when we allow ourselves to feel happy.

We don’t schedule our water intake for special occasions or save it for milestone moments. We understand intuitively that our bodies need regular hydration throughout the day. Yet somehow, we’ve convinced ourselves that joy should work differently.

We can find joy in ordinary moments that we usually rush past us, such as:

• The warmth of sunlight on your face in the morning.
• The first sip of coffee while the house is still quiet.
• The familiar voice of a friend or family member.
• The cool side of the pillow when you flip it over.
• The smell of rain just before it starts falling.
• Finding the perfect parking spot.
• When someone makes space for you in a crowded area.
• Seeing a full moon on a clear night.
• Finding something you thought was lost.

These aren’t grand moments, but they’re abundant, and they’re available every single day.

Instead, it’s about developing a more nuanced relationship with joy, one that recognizes it doesn’t always need to announce itself with fireworks. Sometimes it whispers. Sometimes it’s as simple as noticing that you’re breathing, that you exist in this moment, that you’re part of this vast, interconnected world.

The irony is that by chasing only big moments of joy, we might be making ourselves less capable of experiencing joy at all. It’s like training for a marathon by only running once every few months, you’re not building the endurance needed for the long haul. Joy, like any other capacity, needs regular exercise.

Some practical ways to condition for joy:

• Identifying moments for gratitude
• Celebrating the wins
• Practicing presence in transitions
• Creating tiny rituals around ordinary activities
• Noticing people and things around you, at all times

The great thing about joy conditioning is that it works like compound interest. Each small moment of noticed joy builds upon the last, creating a more resilient foundation for happiness. It’s not about replacing the big moments of joy, those are still great. It is about building a daily practice of joy that sustains us between those peaks.

After all, joy isn’t just a destination, it’s a practice. And like any practice, it gets stronger with regular use.