Recently I had a 3 hour flight to Dallas to see the Eclipse and opted for a randomly assigned seat. For the first 2 and 1/2 hours the person next to me and I didn’t speak. About 30 minutes left of the flight she had asked me a question and we got to talking. She was flying down to Dallas for her sisters birthday and as a side quest she was going to see the Eclipse too. We had talked about Disney World, housing prices, her job, my job, and SpaceX Starbase.

Passing friends are people who we’d be friends with but due to how we meet them our time together is limited. Situations such as our airplane seat neighbor, barber, or our Uber driver. These people are not exactly arbitrary since they have to physically near you with common goals and your paths would not have crossed if you were not in a temporary situation.

I find it strange that I can describe detailed personal things with someone I met 5 minutes ago. I’ve never lied to these people, though I’d love to say I’m a famous YouTuber or some washed up child star. But because these people cannot hurt me there is no risk in making myself vulnerable. When I expect to see the person again I become more guarded with the information I disclose because that is the default when I want to build a lasting and sustaining relationship with someone.

Depending on how fast I talk this type of environment can be extremely therapeutic. Someone is there listening to me and acting as a friend giving me social cues but after this interaction is over I will never talk to them again.

Potentially if we met in a different setting I would have been great friends with this person. But in this time and place they are only my passing friend.